The following FAQs provide checklists that can help you better identify and navigate through the realities of your experience.

• What is woman abuse?

Abuse and violence against women can take many shapes, and can take place regardless of race, socio-economic class, or culture and does not exclude same sex relationships. Abuse is about power and control not just physical strength.  Abuse can be:

• Physical, such as:  hitting, pushing, biting, pulling hair, using a weapon or threats of physical violence against yourself or your children, family or pet.
• Sexual abuse, such as; being forced into sexual activity, forcing pregnancy, abortion or sterilization, intentionally infecting a partner with a sexually transmitted infection or HIV.
• Psychological, such as; threats of physical harm, harassment, stalking, isolation, threats to “out” a same sex partner to her family or co-workers.
• Financial abuse, such as; withholding money for food and necessities, stealing money from a partner.
• Verbal abuse, such as; name-calling, put downs, accusations.

This list is not necessarily inclusive and your experiences may look different; however, any situation that is harmful to you and undermines your self worth can be considered abusive. Abuse is about power and control over you by another person, this may be a partner, a boss, in a dating relationship, a doctor or service provider; any relationship where there is a power imbalance it is never your fault and there are people you can talk to. Please read on to find out more about places you can go to find support.

• What should I do if I think I am being abused?

If you think you are being abused:

1. Make sure both you and your children are safe. (Read forward for more information on safety planning)
2. Gather as much information as you can:
• If you are considering leaving, contact women’s shelters where you can speak with a counsellor about your situation. “The counsellor can support you emotionally and tell you about community recourses and services you may need.”
• “Learning about the law. Even if you are not thinking about leaving your partner, it does not hurt to learn about the various legal systems you may need to deal with if you do. You can talk to the women’s shelter about the best place in your community to get legal information.”
• “Getting some support and/or counselling for your children. Even if your partner is violent toward you[ and not toward your children], being exposed to his violence will have an impact on the kids. Many women’s shelters run groups for children exposed to violence.”
• Talk to friends and family that you trust about what is happening. People who will believe and support you.
3. Don’t feel pressured. People might be telling you different things, make a decision that’s right for you.

Taken from the Metropolitan Action Committee on Violence Against Women and Children and Ontario Women’s Justice Network. (2007), Legal Information for Women Experiencing Violence.

• Can I leave the country with my children if I’m fleeing abuse?

If you are fleeing an abusive spouse with your children it is always a good idea to file for custody of your children as soon as possible. In the meantime leaving the country could cause complications. For more information on family law and custody, visit the website of the Attorney General on Family Law.

• Will I be deported if I leave my abusive sponsor?

If you have permanent resident status you cannot lose that status because you have decided to leave an abusive sponsor. However, if you do not yet have permanent resident status making the decision to leave may affect immigration status. You have options and rights, consult a legal aid clinic or a lawyer to discuss your options and to know your rights.