• Woman abuse does not happen that often.

Woman abuse and violence against women happens far more often than many of us think. "One-quarter of all violent crimes reported to police services in 2001 involved cases of family violence. Two thirds of these cases were violence committed by a spouse or an ex-spouse, and 85% of victims were women." (Statistics Canada, 2003).

• If a woman is being abused by her partner, she can always just leave.

There are many visible and invisible barriers in place that many times make this very difficult for her and her children. "The most dangerous time for [a] woman is when she is trying to leaver her partner, or shortly after she has left. One-third of women who were assaulted while still with their partner feared being killed at some point" (Springtide Resources). Couple this with many other factors such as, isolation from family friends and social networks, loss of self worth, and financial dependence for her and her children. If you are being abused there are places you can go for support, you are not alone and it is never your fault.

• Only people with psychological illness or from certain (socio-economic classes, cultures, religious groups, with drug or alcohol addictions) are abusers.

Though it may be true that drugs and alcohol may allow an abuser to overcome inhibitions to use violence these are never the cause and should never be used as an excuse for abuse. The truth is that violence can take place regardless of race, religious beliefs, income level , class or drug and alcohol addiction.

• People who are abusive were usually abused themselves or come from a home where they witnessed abuse.

Because of the prevalence of violence and abuse in families, it is possible that some abusers were raised in a home where they witnessed abuse. However, many have not and many people who were raised in violent families do not later go on to become abusers themselves. Using violence, abuse or coercion in an intimate relationship or any relationship is always a choice someone makes.

• Violence does not occur in same-sex relationships or a fight between two women is a "fair fight".

Violence can occur in any relationship. Abuse is about power and control not physical strength, and can occur in same-sex relationships as well. The methods of power, control and coercion can still take place(they may include threats like “outing” the partner to friend family and co-workers, or telling the partner that nobody will believe them) in these relationships and often women in an abusive same sex relationship may find it more difficult to find support because of these beliefs and because of homophobia. Also if the relationship is secret because the woman is not out it can make it more difficult to come forward or leave if abuse is present.

• What happens between families should stay within families.

When abuse or violence takes place within a family, whether it is woman abuse, incest, child abuse or elder abuse it hurts to keep this kind of secret. If it is hurting you or your children there are places you can go for support.

• People with disabilities don't experience abuse.

The Disabled Women's Network of Canada (Ridington, 1989) surveyed 245 women with disabilities
and found that 40% had experienced abuse; 12% had been raped. Perpetrators of the abuse were primarily spouses and ex-spouses (37%) and strangers (28%), followed by parents (15%), service providers (10%), and dates (7%). Less than half these experiences were reported. Ten percent of the women had used shelters or other services, 15% reported that no services were available or they were unsuccessful in their attempts to obtain services.

Myths and facts taken from Nosek, M.A., Howland C.A. (1998). Abuse and women with disabilities; Applied Research Forum: National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women. Retrieved December 15, 2009, from http://new.vawnet.org/Assoc_Files_VAWnet/AR_disab.pdf